All I Can Give
by Francescabuccino
Summary: This is an Omelia story. All began at the end of season 12 when someone decided to make a phone call...
1. Preview

**Meredith POV**

Finally it all went for the better. I'm here, in a church, looking Owen and Amelia declare eternal love for one another. Today I was a great sister. I stood next to her and she was able to find the courage to be happy. Even after all I said and did today, I can't not think about the last time I saw Owen this happy. That time we were at my house and the woman that was in front of him could not be more different. Owen, maybe, doesn't have to call her, but I do. She is so far away from all of this, but she will be always my person. I have to call her to tell her what is happening in Owen's life. She has to know.  
The wedding is done and during the party I find a moment to sneak out and call her. Now the phone is ringing and I almost lose the courage to talk to her, but then…  
"Mer, why are you calling so late?"  
Damn, I forgot our different time!  
"Hi Cris, I have to tell you something now and I don't have much time. Don't take this in the wrong way…"  
"Mer, just talk!"  
"Owen married Amelia today"  
She's silent. Now I'm worried.  
"Cristina…"  
"Mer, I have to go, I have a surgery"  
I don't think she is ok now, but I can't do anything. These are the moments in which I really want to be with her. She'll need to dance it out with me or down a tequila shot with me, but I'm not there. Maybe for her it would have been better not knowing…

 **Cristina POV**

Married. With little McDreamy. Another one that was charmed by their perfect hair and puppy dog eyes. I knew that this moment would come one day. He has to rebuild his life. The life I destroyed going away. Maybe she can give him all I could not, but I'm not ready to really lose him. He is really not mine anymore now. I chose the surgery, but I was never completely sure of my choice. He has never left my heart. Maybe I could be happy with him and our child. We could build together the perfect life he deserves so much. I was the right woman for him and he was the only one for me. I'm not ready for let the hope of having him go. All these years I dreamt about the day he would come here to make me remember all the thing I was missing. I dreamt about all the moments with him, all the glances, the goosebumps at every light touch… all our life. I have to do something. I can't stay here when the love of my life is there. Because I love him, I love him still. Without thinking I'm buying a plane ticket for Seattle. I have to be sure that I tried everything for us before let him be with her.


	2. Chapter 1

**Cristina's POV**

Seattle's breeze is on my face. It's been a while since I was here the last time, but this city is the only place where I have really felt at home. The place in which I found my family, the place in which I found my person and, most of all, the place where I fell in love. I can't believe that it's possible to find a love so true. For this reason I am back – to fight for that love. We have to fight for all we really want and I want him. I hope it's not too late…  
I bought one ticket to Seattle. I'm ready to leave everything behind me to do what I never thought I could. Now I'm here, in front of the building that gave me all of this – the Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. I am ready to begin my fight.

 **Owen's POV**

Today is my first day of work after my wedding. It was one of the best days of my life; I wouldn't change a thing, even Amelia running, because she came back sure about the big step that we were going to take. My return to work will not be so simple. After two days on our honeymoon (in which we never left our bed) I can't live without her skin on my skin, without her lips on my lips. I can't live without her, but we can't be on honeymoon forever – right? I have to stand a few hours without her, but I hope I'll find free time for a quick 'meeting' in one of the on-call rooms. Those rooms will be my salvation.  
In this moment we are going, hand in hand, to the hospital and I can't stop watching her: her blue eyes, the dimples that pop up when she smiles, the little freckles on her nose – I love all of her. I pull her to my chest and kiss her.

"Stop! We'll be late…and mostly I will never go to work. It's only a few hours, Owen, and then tonight I'll be all yours." She said, giggling, but I give her another kiss.

"Okay. Now I'm going to be late for work!" She emphasizes the movement of her hips as she walks away – she shall pay for that tonight. I think this is the moment for me to go to work, so I make my way towards the elevator.  
Nothing could prepare me for who is in front of me.

Cristina.  
At first I can't believe it. It's impossible. She is here, in Seattle. Why is she here? Certainly not for a patient, Maggie doesn't deserve her. Maybe only for a visit, for Mer and the kids.  
Our eyes meet. I love Amelia, but I can't be stopped. She makes me feel something, her eyes make me feel something. I can't resist getting closer to her.  
"Hi Cristina! How are you?"  
"Hi Owen. Fine, thanks! I heard about the wedding… Congratulations!"  
"Thanks. What brings you to Seattle? A conference?"  
"Just a visit. I would like to have a drink with you – I have to talk to you."  
BEEP BEEP BEEP  
I hate my pager sometimes.  
"Sorry, I have to go. I'll let you know about that drink."  
"Ok. See you later."

 **Amelia's POV**

Neuro department is almost empty, and I think I taught Edwards well on how to take care of my patients, because all of my post-op and pre-op had been taken care of before I even arrived. Now I'm going to find the ER in order to find new patients…maybe I'll be able to watch my new husband at work too. I love watching him when he works – the way he give out orders and saves so many lives is extremely sexy. I just get out of the elevator when my heart stops watching the scene unfold in front of me – Owen and his ex-wife, Cristina.  
I know that Owen loves me, and now we are married, but she has always been my biggest fear. He loved her as much as he loves me now. If he had to choose, who would he choose? Not me. I'm a mess. An addict whose men are dropping like flies. Why would he choose me? I'm frozen in this spot, watching their eyes meet – these aren't just glances between old friends. Tears begin to fill in my eyes, but I don't want anyone to see me, so I enter the first room I can find. I sit on the floor and finally I can let myself go. He is my life.  
I try to stop the tears when the door opens. I try to hide my bloodshot eyes hoping that the person will go away.  
"Hi…is everything ok?"  
It's Meredith.  
"Yes, sure…I'm always perfectly fine." I don't think she bought it.  
"Amelia…what happened? Did you fight with Owen?" I think it's useless to keep lying.  
"Cristina is here."  
Meredith will be happy. She can see her best friend – the person she considers her sister more than she does me.  
"I'm sorry…"  
"For what?"  
"I think I made her come here. I called her on your wedding day, even though Owen thought it wasn't important for her to know. I didn't think she would turn up." Perfect. Not only is she here, but apparently she is here to get back what she thinks is hers – my husband.  
"I thought we were ok! I thought you were on my side! I guess I was wrong." I have to leave the room now, before I break down again. Now I have to think about the surgery I have in less than an hour. I have got to trust my husband and our love.

 **Owen's POV**

My shift just ended. Amelia texted me that she went home because her surgery was tough and she wanted to rest before dinner. The whole day I have been thinking about my little talk with Cristina – what does she want to tell me? But mostly, should I talk about this with Amelia? After all, nothing has happened. I don't want her to be worried. It's just a drink with a person of my past, that's all.  
Without thinking twice I send a text to Cristina:  
Me: "8pm at Joe's?"  
Cristina: "Perfect. Can't wait… :*"  
I'm walking into the bar and she is here. My heart is beating so quickly – I'm only curious.  
"Hi…"  
"Hi…take a seat."  
"Thanks." There is a weird silence…this has never happened between us before.  
"Let's get something to drink – what do you want?"  
"I want a bottle of tequila and a glass. I don't know how much I'll need to drink after this."  
I come back with a beer for me and the bottle for her. Whatever she has to tell me is not a joke. She grabs the bottle, fills the glass and guzzles it.  
"Wow…" It's the only thing that can leave my mouth.  
"Owen, have a seat and let me speak – don't talk. I have to finish first because I think that I can say this only once, ok?" This situation is becoming even weirder.  
"Ok..."  
"When Mer called to tell me you were getting married, I jammed up. I didn't think I would feel so bad, and then I realized – I can't think about you being with anyone else but me. It didn't feel right, and it still doesn't feel right. We are the right match. The life we can build together is the right thing. I love you, Owen, and this is the only thing I know for sure. I love the surgery, but not as much as I love you. You changed me, and losing you changed me. I want you with me…give me a chance…"  
"Cristina…I'm married now."  
"Let me finish. I don't want an answer tonight, just think about this. Think about us, about what we are and what we can be. Can you think about this?"  
I don't know what to say. I did not expect this, but I love Amelia. If Cristina had said this 2 years ago, I wouldn't have had any doubts. I would have run straight back into her arms, but now I have Amelia, and she would be destroyed if I chose Cristina.  
"I'll think about it."

 **Amelia's POV**

It's 9pm and he's still not home…his shift ended at 7:30pm. Why isn't he here? Is he with her? I'm so paranoid now. No, he's not with her. There will have been some emergency, and he is a trauma surgeon after all…  
But what if he is with her?  
No…he would talk with me about it first.  
I hear the key turning in the lock, and then he enters. He seems lost in his thoughts.  
"Hi sweetie! Where have you been? I've been waiting for you…" He looks at me and I just know that something is wrong.  
"Cristina is in town." Ok. I already knew that. It's not a problem, right?  
"She asked me out for a drink because she had to talk to me…"  
"Tell me you didn't go. Tell me you thought about talking with your wife before going on a date with you ex-wife?!"  
"I went…"  
"I don't want to know anything else, get out!"  
"Amelia, let me explain. I didn't think…"  
"Owen, I said GO AWAY!"  
For the second time in 24 hours I fight back the tears - I don't want to cry in front of him. He goes away even though I don't think he wants to.

 **Owen's POV**

Amelia did not take this well, and she was right. I should have spoken with her first. Now I'm only confused. Amelia doesn't know why Cristina is here, I have to clear my head before dealing with her. Now I deserve a drink, a lot of drinks. I need a few hours of not thinking, so I'm back at Joe's.  
First drink.  
Second drink.  
Third drink.  
I've lost count now and my mind is clear.

 **Cristina's POV**

After the talk with Owen I wanted to be alone, so I'm still at Joe's drinking tequila. I see Owen enter and sit down at the counter, anything but happy. He guzzles one drink after the other.  
"Owen! Stop…you're going too far."  
"Hi Cristina! Nice to see you!"  
He was drunk, he was very drunk. I should have taken him to the hospital or back to his house, but I didn't. When he takes me out and starts kissing me against the wall I didn't stop him. Feeling his lips pressed against mine and our bodies so close is all I want. This will complicate the situation, but this was like getting home after a long trip. I have decided that I will worry about the aftermath in the morning, after the night that is going to change everything.

 **Hi guys! I knw that this story doesn't seem an omelia story, but it is! Don't worry, they will bw fine... at the end...**


	3. Chapter 2

When we make a mistake, we have two choices – accept it, or regret it. In the first case, the mistake will change your life. Twist it, twist **you**. In the second case, you try to believe that it's possible to come back even after the second you have done it, but sometimes this is impossible.

 **Owen's POV**

I wasn't asleep, but I hadn't yet convinced myself to open my eyes. The sunlight would just make my headache worse – I had such a bad headache. I was in a bed, but the scent wasn't the same as my own bed.

It was familiar. It seemed almost like a memory, not reality.

When I opened my eyes I saw that I wasn't at home, but in a cold hotel room. I didn't know how I had made it here, only that the person in bed with me was certainly not my wife. When I looked to my right, my heart froze in my chest. In the same bed was Cristina, and we were both naked. Even an idiot would realize what happened the previous night, but I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it.

She was looking at me, waiting for me to speak. I didn't want to talk. I was angry with myself, and with her too. We shouldn't have let this happen, not like this. I didn't know what my feelings for her were but I knew that I love Amelia, and I would never hurt her.

"What the hell did we do?" Those were the only words I could put together.

"I'm sorry…but this couldn't be a mistake. I love you, Owen and something brought you here with me last night. Something made you stay and not go back home to your wife, and you know it."

Her voice was reasonable and calm, as if we were talking about what we had for dinner, but we were talking about something that could end my marriage. Something that could destroy the life I built after she left. Amelia had given me the love that Cristina took from me.

"You should have stopped me – I'm married, Cristina!"

"Amelia? I can tell you that you didn't think about her last night…not for a second."

"I-I was drunk…"

"Yes, you were, but you was also sure of what you were doing…I know this. I know you."

"NO! You knew me! I'm not that person anymore! I've changed. You leaving changed me, so don't tell me that you know me. Amelia knows me, and I'm going to break her heart…"

"She doesn't have to know. I know that you love me, but I'll give you an out. If I really don't know you, and if I'm wrong, this night can stay between us."

"I can't. I can't hide this from her. She has a right to know."

 **Cristina's POV**

I woke up with him in my bed after such a long time. It was amazing until I looked into his eyes – I knew he wouldn't be happy understanding what had happened the previous night, but I also knew that what happened meant something to him. The night before he didn't know where to go, and he chose to come to me. It made me so happy. I didn't know what would happen after that night, but it happened. He would regret this, but I know that it wasn't _just sex_ : this was a _come back home to me_.

He took his clothes and he left.

I couldn't just continue my day as if nothing has happened. I had to wait for the moment in which he would understand, and the only way I could do that was to work. I went to the hospital hoping to find a mysterious case – I deserved at least an aortic dissection! A bit of gushing blood would be amazing right now.

"Hi Mer!"

"Good morning, Cristina…you're looking great(!)" Obviously she was being sarcastic, considering the dark circles around my eyes. Last night was amazing, but I didn't get much sleep at all. "I don't know why you didn't just stay with me – hotel beds are awful!"

"Yeah, sure. So I can be woken by your children's screams instead? No thank you!" It wasn't at all the bed that kept me awake, but I didn't think that talk with Mer would be the greatest idea right now, after all, Owen had betrayed her sister-in-law with me.

"You're hiding something from me…tell me!"

Crap! She knows me too well. Now what do I tell her? She has to know.

"We can't talk about this here."

"So there is something to talk about…?"

"I went out last night, with a man…"

"With Owen? You told me."

I didn't know how to say it, but by the look on Mer's face I realized there was no reason to even say it. My face had said it all. I really need to learn to control my facial expressions.

"Whaaaat?!" As she said that, she pulled me into a closet. "Now, I want to know all the details!"

"Are you sure? I mean I don't know how well I can explain the different positions…"

"I didn't mean that! I don't want to know that! You really slept with Owen? He is married, Cristina!" She didn't seem that angry – more surprised than anything.

"Don't you think I know that? It happened!"

"Things like that don't just ' _happen'_! We both know this can only end as badly as all the other times. You're both too different."

"No, Mer: I came back for this. I've changed, and surgery isn't everything to me anymore – he is everything."

"I don't even know what to say. What did Owen say?"

"He said it was a mistake, but he wants to talk to Amelia about this."

"She won't ever forgive him for this, he knows that right?"

 **Amelia's POV**

I knew that I was the one who sent Owen away the night he didn't come home, I just guess I expected him to return after he had left me for a bit of time to 'calm down', but no. He didn't return. He didn't call. He didn't even text.

I have an almost free day today, but I would give anything to have a huge operation, or an emergency that would take my mind off of this. Something that would help me to forget the mess that had become my marriage, and the ex-wife of my husband.

 _BEEP BEEP BEEP_

Thank GOD! My pager showed a 911 in OR 3.

"What do we have?" I rushed there so quickly I didn't even look at who was in the OR.

"Jane Harris, 59 years old. Admitted for an emergency removal of a left atrial thrombus due to chronic atrial fibrillation. I was halfway through blocking her mitral valve when she started to seize. I think I may have missed a clot, and now she's having an ischemic stroke."

It was her.

Cristina was the one who paged me.

Why did it have to be her? Why did I have to be in this OR? I just had to focus on the patient. Focus on the patient…

"OK. Prepare for a craniotomy. I need to remove this clot."

The rest of the surgery went well – no complications. I opened, extracted the clot, and closed. I began washing post-op when the woman I had been avoiding eye contact with for the past couple of hours walked in.

"Thanks for being so professional, and for leaving our personal issues aside. The woman deserved it."

"I know how to distinguish the job from the rest. I would never put a patient in danger."

"Did you…did you already talk to Owen?"

"And why do you care?"

"I just wanted to say that he was really drunk…"

"Wait…what are you talking about?"

"Just…you should talk to Owen."

As soon as I was done washing myself I left that room immediately. That morning I had been so worried about Owen, wondering why he hadn't come home. Now I was just angry. How could he go to her after our fight? Cristina was right – I had to talk to my husband, right now! I came running down to the ER, searching for him. I finally found him in a Trauma Room, updating patient folders.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I need to talk to you, but not here."

 **Owen's POV**

She came in to talk to me…

I had been thinking all day about what to tell her, but I just couldn't find a way that wouldn't crush her. It was just impossible. I didn't want to lose her, but I knew that after telling her what happened the night before, she wouldn't ever forgive me. I had been avoiding her all day, but finally she was here and she was ready to talk. I couldn't run away this time.

"Y-yes…let's go home. I'm almost done with these folders."

Whilst I drove home, I thought about all the things I would probably be doing for the last time: having my wife at home to accompany me, watching her as she takes off her jacket and hangs it up. These are all such mechanical movements, but I can't forget them.

"So…I spoke with Cristina, although I had no intention to, and she told me to talk to you. Do you have something to say?"

Looking into her eyes, she was holding back the tears. I could see it.

"Yesterday…after we had that fight, I went to Joe's. I drank so much. Cristina was there…a-and she found me when I wasn't really myself anymore. I can't remember what happened after that, but…but this morning…"

I couldn't continue. As I spoke I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"This morning I was in bed with her."

She said nothing. She turned around and walked towards our…now her, bedroom. I tried following her, even though I didn't know what else I could possibly say, but she slammed the door and locked it behind her.

"Please, Amelia. Open the door. We need to talk about this. I was drunk, I wouldn't have ever done this I promise. I love you…"

The room was silent, then suddenly…

Broken glass.

Banging against the wall.

Smashes. Crashes.

Now I was really afraid she would hurt herself, but there was nothing I could do. Nothing would hurt her more than what I had just done to her. I leaned against the door, helpless. I couldn't do anything now. I couldn't help her, but maybe someone else could.

"Maggie, hi. Can you come to our house please? It's Amelia…ok, I'll wait for you."

A few minutes later Maggie came running.

"What happened? Where is she?"

I pointed towards the room where now only sobs came from.

 **Amelia's POV**

That morning, when I spoke with Cristina, I thought she wanted to tell me this but I just couldn't bring myself to consider it. It was impossible. It was impossible that my husband could betray me like that. The husband that, up to 2 days before that, had been a perfect husband. But he had. He had betrayed me.

I don't even know what I feel: anger, grief, uncertainty…the first emotion I felt was anger. I began throwing everything against the walls. I broke every jar, every frame holding perfect pictures of us in, all of his possessions. Then the anger had been overpowered by an awful sense of grief. I laid down on the bed that was my safe haven on difficult days. The bed where he held me in his arms every night, but now it had no meaning. He took away that meaning, that significance. I started to sob, and then I didn't know if I would ever be able to stop.

I heard a knock at the door. I didn't want to see him. Not now.

"Amelia? It's Maggie. Owen has gone…please open the door?"

I slowly got up and let her in.

 **Maggie's POV**

I had seen their room so many times before, but this time I hardly recognized it. Nothing was where I remembered it, nor was Amelia as I remembered her.

Her eyes were bloodshot from crying so much, her skin was even paler than usual. After she let me in she avoided eye contact with me, and just headed towards her bathroom. I heard her vomiting, and then rinsing her face. I wanted to help so much, but how could I possibly help someone so broken?

"Amelia, do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about the fact that my husband just cheated on me with his ex-wife. I don't want to talk about how I can't ever forgive him, even though I know he was drunk. I don't want to talk about how I should feel guilty because I was the one who kicked him out and made him go into that bar. I don't want to talk about how my marriage and my life has just been destroyed. I don't want to talk about it."

She almost whispered all of that whilst staring at a point on the floor. What can anyone do for a woman so destroyed?

"Let's get out of here. You need a change of scenery. Let me take you to our home."

We came into the house. It seemed empty, until I heard voices coming from the kitchen. Instantly I knew I had made a mistake bringing Amelia here when I saw Cristina and Meredith coming towards us. Cristina couldn't take her guilty eyes off of Amelia's.

 **Amelia's POV**

That bitch had the audacity to stare at me. As soon as our eyes met I knew that she had realized I had spoken to Owen. I didn't want to talk to her right now. My heart began to beat so much faster than normal – it had been happening to me a lot lately. I tried to climb the stairs to avoid the heart wrenching situation, but suddenly my knees buckled and everything went black. I can't remember what happened next.


	4. Chapter 3

Life surprises us - with good news…or with something terrible. Either way it is still a surprise. Sometimes it seems impossible how a small event can completely change everything; a trip, a choice…a call. It seems impossible how that little event can destroy your life.

 **Cristina's POV:**

"Call and ambulance…NOW!"

Amelia almost fainted on me. I rushed over to her and felt her pulse – there was something wrong. I was good enough to know, but I had to take her to hospital to find out what it was. As I got in the ambulance with her, she was regaining consciousness.

"Amelia…I'm Cristina. You passed out and we're taking you to the hospital to do some exams."

The situation was quite strange; I was with her, but I was probably also the reason that this happened. I was the reason that her husband betrayed her. I had gone through this before, and I knew exactly how all of that pain can destroy you.

 **Amelia's POV:**

What the hell happened?

It was a few days ago that I hadn't been feeling well, but I thought it was just stress, and maybe a bit of dehydration considering all the tears I had shed. What a stroke of luck! To pass out right before my husband's mistress - it hurt to even think about it. Yet she was still with me, trying to understand what happened to me.

We arrived at the hospital where they started on a thousand different tests. They made sure to do everything on the sly so that no-one knew I was there – I didn't want a fuss of people asking how I was. I was quite confused.

Finally, I had to have an electrocardiogram, and I hoped with all of my heart that it wasn't Cristina who would perform it - I wouldn't be able to withstand her look of pity. I knew that look. The eyes of those who think they understand how you feel. In my life, however, nothing seemed to go the right way. In fact, whilst I was still trying to forget her eyes, she appeared at the door.

"Hey. How are you feeling? I have to take your ECG…"

"I could be better…"

I purposefully avoided her gaze as she began to get ready for the exam. She put the electrodes on my chest and began looking at the track that appeared on the monitor. I looked at it too. I wasn't a cardio surgeon, but I could read an ECG, and there was something wrong. Something in me did not want to believe it, but there was something wrong.

"Amelia, as you can see on your track, there are delta waves. I suspect you have Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. This would explain the fainting…"

My mind was no longer connected. I couldn't speak, I couldn't move…everything just seemed like a bad dream.

"Amelia…? Amelia? Did you hear what I said? We need to start treatment with Tambocor as soon as possible." She took my folder to write out the ECG results and prescribe the first dose of medication. "We also have the results of the blood test…everything looks normal."

Then she read something and her eyes changed – she looked surprised. The problem was in my chart!

"What else is wrong?" I asked. Her gaze left the folder, and for the first time since she entered my room, I met her gaze back.

"I advise the ablation…in your condition you cannot take the Tabocor."

In my CONDITION?! What does she mean _my condition_? Did Owen tell her about my problems with addiction?

"I didn't realise it would create dependency."

"No, that's not the reason…"

She handed me the folder – all the tests seemed normal. What had she seen? Then I realized…

Beta-HCG: 3687.

I couldn't be…

How could I discover a heart defect and that I was expecting a child on the same day? I've hoped for this moment since I married Owen. I expected to tell him that he was going to become a father, and get to see the amazing reaction. That won't happen now though, now that I no longer knew if my marriage even existed anymore. I especially never expected my husband's lover was going to give me this happy news. I looked at her and could no longer hold back the tears – stupid pregnancy hormones.

"Do the ablation." I said.

"Amelia, do you want me to call someone? You want me to call Owen?"

"No, let's just do it, and that's it."

She left to book the OR.

 **Cristina's POV:**

As soon as I left Amelia's room, I found Meredith and Maggie waiting for me.

"Well?" They said together.

"WPW. I'm going to book an OR for the ablation…"

"What? Why no medication?" Maggie asked, in the know with this sort of stuff. What else could I say? I didn't know if she wanted other people knowing yet.

"Amelia requested the ablation."

Maggie turned to Mer, "I'll talk with her." And disappeared into Amelia's room.

 **Amelia's POV:**

Maggie came in.

"Hey! How do you feel? Cristina told us everything." Great. So I don't even get to tell my own sister myself. "Why do you want to do the ablation? That's the last option you should go for! Try the medication first…"

"I can't, and apparently Cristina didn't tell you everything."

I don't know why, but I just couldn't stop crying.

"Hey…it's alright. It's not a serious malformation."

"I know. It's just that…I'm pregnant."

"Oh my gosh, Amelia! Congratulations! Owen is going to be so happy…"

The mention of his name was like a knife in the heart. I began to sob louder, and Maggie hugged me for what felt like hours, until a nurse came in to let me know the OR was ready.

"You should tell Owen…"

"What? That I'm about to have a cardiac ablation, or that he's going to be a dad?"

"Both."

"No…I don't want to see him."

 **Owen's POV:**

After I left home I was too angry with myself to sleep, so my only options left were to either get drunk or to work, and considering my last choices in a drunken state, I decided to go to the hospital.

The PIT was empty so, after waiting over an hour, I decided to check the OR board to see if there were any surgeries worth watching.

 _Appendectomy_ – boring.

 _Rhinoplasty –_ also boring.

 _Cardiac ablation._

Even that procedure was boring, but what caught my attention was the patient name.

Amelia Shepherd.

How could my wife be a patient in the hospital without my knowledge?! Evidently she had opted not to let me know.

I rushed to the operating room floor and went straight to OR3. I ran inside and everyone turned towards me.

"What the hell happened?!"

Lying on the operating table was my beautiful wife, and my ex-wife was stood there operating on her.

"Get out of here immediately, Owen. I don't want you here, and you have no right to know what's going on! OUT!" The machines began bleeping more rapidly.

"Sinus tachycardia" A nurse said.

"Amelia, you have got to stay calm for this – stress isn't going to help you or him right now." Cristina said.

I left the room, not wanting to complicate things. All I wanted to do was to stay close to my wife. I sat back and reflected on the situation I just saw – why was Arizona Robbins in the room during a cardiac ablation?


	5. Chapter 4

_When someone hurts us, it is difficult to regain our confidence. You can forgive, act as if nothing had happened, but something will change forever. It's all the heart's fault. When someone betrays us, the heart will crack and then struggle not to break, not to shatter. That crack will always be a reminder of the pain that we tried to heal – it won't ever disappear._

 **Amelia's POV:**

"Done. The surgery went well, Amelia. Now we have to monitor you for a few hours and check that arrhythmias have ceased, and then you can go home." Cristina said.

"Perfect. Arizona, can I talk to you later?"

"Sure mommy!"

I'm pregnant again. When I read my analysis I couldn't believe it, but during the surgery I felt his little heartbeat – it was wonderful. It's strong, rhythmic sound had accompanied me throughout the surgery, and was able to calm me when I needed it the most. I had only just learned of its existence and he was already helping me, as my first child…

I had to talk to Arizona. I had to know. I would not be able to overcome the pain of another loss. I was, again, alone and pregnant.

As I was wheeled back into the room, I saw him. My husband. Our eyes met for a moment, and then I turned my head away. I knew that Owen would want to know, he would want to be happy with me, but I wouldn't be able to be happy with him near me right now. Whenever I thought about him I imagined him with Cristina, in bed. I couldn't imagine him with me, choosing the crib for our son, or to take hold of my hand during the painful labor. Thinking of him, looking at him – it hurt. It really hurt and I did not want to feel bad right now. I wanted to be happy for my son. I wanted to let him know that I want him, and that I can't wait to hold him and watch him grow up. I could no longer do that with Owen next to me.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about? It's okay to be scared! A little fear for your first pregnancy is totally normal."

"It's not my first pregnancy, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I didn't tell this to many people, not even Derek, but I had a son when I was in LA. I realized quite a bit later in the pregnancy, because I was too busy in rehab, and then I had to convince myself that I was happy and this was what I wanted, and I was sure. I was certain that I wanted that child more than anything in this world. I asked Addison to get me an ultrasound when I was ready…

My baby had no brain.

It was too late to abort, though. I don't think I would have been able to kill him, anyway, so I took him to term and when he was born I donated his organs. My boy saved me, but he also made me feel the worst pain of my life. I don't think I could do that again, so I want to know. I want to get every possible test done to make sure this child is healthy. Can you do that for me?"

As I spoke, my eyes filled with tears and I saw Arizona's fill with sadness.

 **Arizona's POV:**

Losing a child is an unimaginable pain: I see it every day at work, but when they are people who are more your friends than your patients, seeing their pain also makes you suffer. I thought I knew who Amelia Shepherd was, I thought I knew.

"Of course, Amelia…I'll make all the tests ready as soon as possible, but first we do need to do an ultrasound. Everything will be fine…do you want me to call Owen?"

"Let's do it and that's it."

I went out to get the machine ready. Amelia was afraid, I could tell that easily. What if there was a problem? How could I ever face her and tell her she was going to lose another child? Herman did all of this with April, but now I would have to do it. This was my job, and sometimes I really hated doing this job.

I went back into the room to Amelia all prepared, and uncovering her belly. Her expression was not only that of worry, but of terror too. I began the ultrasound and she just stared in front of her, towards the wall.

"Found him…"

 **Amelia's POV:**

I couldn't convince myself to turn my head, and watch my baby. I would have liked to have that strength, but after my past tragedy I just couldn't. Arizona didn't speak for what felt like a lifetime.

"Amelia, look at your baby."

"I can't look."

"Look at him, Amelia" she said, with a big smile.

Only then I mustered up the courage to turn around, and there he was. The first thing I saw was a little ball, no bigger than a cherry. It was his head. My baby had a brain. My baby would live for more than 43 minutes. By then I couldn't hold back the floods of tears – the first tears of joy in what felt like forever.

 **Owen's POV:**

"Cristina…Cristina…"

I waited outside the hall for the whole procedure – it was my way of standing beside my wife, even though she did not want me with her.

"The procedure went well, Owen. Everything went back to normal after you left."

"Why was Arizona in there?"

"I think you should talk to your wife…"

"She doesn't want to talk to me, that's why I'm asking you. Tell me what happened."

"It's WPW. Nothing serious."

"Why did you do the ablation then? What about the drugs?"

"You really need to speak to your wife, Owen."

"Stop saying that! It's your fault I'm even in this situation! It's your fault that my wife won't talk to me! The least you could do is tell me how she is?!"

"Owen, you know that certain things are done in two! It is not just my fault…and I am not letting you blame me for the end of your marriage. It was your choice to come to the bar that night, not mine!"

How could I come back from that? She was right…

I had to talk to my wife.

 **Meredith's POV:**

I hadn't spoken to Amelia from our discussion. I felt bad. After all it was my fault, right? If I hadn't called Cristina then Owen wouldn't have cheated with her. This was the reason why she felt sick too. I am just the best a making decisions(!) The problem is that I didn't even regret what I did – Cristina had to know Owen was getting remarried!

I had been lingering outside of Amelia's door for a while now, undecided whether to go in or not. Finally I decided – I was going in.

"Hey Amelia…"

"Meredith…" she replied, coldly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better, in fact…obviously Cristina is not only good in bed." She had the right to make snide comments like that.

"Amelia, I read your test results…"

"Ah, then you must be here to observe the poor Amelia – pregnant and alone."

"You're not alone, Amelia. Owen wouldn't ever leave you, especially now that you're expecting his baby. Have you spoken to him?"

"No, and I'm not going to. This child is the only good thing to come out of our marriage. Maybe you should have convinced me not to marry him…"

Another thing to blame on me.

"You know that you didn't marry him because of me – you married him because you love him. It's just that you're angry now. He hurt you and…"

"He betrayed me, Mer! BETRAYED ME!"

"I know. I know how you feel, but you have got to talk to him. You have to do it for your son. Be a good mother…"

I looked into her eyes – she would be an amazing mom. All the love she had always given to my children and how they love her made me sure. I knew how it felt to wait for a child and not have the person you love by your side. I didn't want her to have to go through what I did. She didn't have to be alone for this – her 'Derek' was not dead.

"And do it for you, because now it doesn't seem possible, but you need him. You need to be loved."

There was a knock at the door.

 **Amelia's POV:**

"Come in!"

There he was, right in front of me with his worried look. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to tell him about the baby, our baby, but I knew that I couldn't continue to remain in silence. I just avoided his gaze and stared out the window, focusing on finding something interesting to stare at.

"It's probably a good idea if I go…" Meredith said.

We were alone. In silence.

There was a tension in the air, as there would have been.

"Amelia, please look at me."

"If you have something to say, then speak. I'm listening." I said, still not looking at him.

"You have to look at me first."

He approached my bed and sat down, taking my face in his hands and forcing me to look at him. Just then, I realised how much I missed that contact with him. All the anger and bitterness I was holding onto just melted. Our eyes finally met, and for the first time I noticed how destroyed he was too. He no longer seemed like the happy man that had been waiting for me at the altar. His beard was slightly overgrown, and he had two huge black circles under his eyes. I wasn't the only one suffering right now.

"Amelia, I need to know if you're okay…this is all my fault. You're in a hospital bed because of me. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been the loving husband you deserve, but please forgive me. The only thing I want is to be near you. I just want to take care of my wife. Please, let me do that."

I noticed his eyes were full of tears and that he was sincere, but I was not ready to act as if nothing had happened. I wasn't ready to just forget. Maybe one day I would be ready, but that wasn't going to be today.

"Owen…I wish I could do it. I love you so much and I want to give you everything, but I can't. Not now. It's too early."

I read the disappointment on his face, and decided that although I couldn't give him what he wanted, I could still give him something to be happy about.

"But I have to tell you something…"

I didn't know how to tell him.

"Amelia, you know you can tell me anything."

"I'm pregnant." As I said it, I burst into tears. He stood there, just staring at me. What if he wasn't actually happy about this?"

 **Owen's POV:**

 _Pregnant._

I was about to become a father…

Amelia burst into tears as soon as the uttered those words. I knew what it meant to her, and how frightened she would be. I hugged her, and she leaned against my chest. It was so nice to have her back in my arms, smelling the scent of her hair. I couldn't stop smiling – her and our baby were the only things I needed in life.

We remained in this position until she stopped crying, and turned away from me.

"Excuse me for a moment…"

"Are you afraid that something could go wrong? I understand but Amelia, our baby will be fine. You've just made me the happiest man in the world."

I was the happiest man in the world – even then! I tried to get closer to kiss her, but she moved away. She wasn't ready, and I could understand, so with my hand I started to gently stroke her stomach (still flat). Inside there was my little boy.

"Hey little one…I'm your daddy!"


	6. Chapter 5

_Sometimes the only way to find yourself is to get away - to look at everything from another perspective. It clears away your mind. It's like returning to the beginning to understand where we come from. Are we going in the right way? What did we do wrong? Can you go back?_

 **Amelia's POV**

"You can go home. Everything is normal, no more arrhythmias."

"I'll get you an appointment for an ultrasound next month."

Cristina and Arizona had discharged me. I was told to go home. _Home_. The one where I was living was not _my home_ , and maybe it had never been…He had always been my home and now my home ceased to exist. This was all I could think as I watched from the outside - that house that now, for me, was only four walls. It was 4 walls where I was the happiest woman in the world, whereHe had made me feel like the most important woman in the world even if only briefly. Now, for me, it was just the house where he had confessed his betrayal. I opened the front door and went straight to the bedroom. That room, our bedroom was just the one that I had almost destroyed in anger. I could not stay there anymore...

Without thinking twice I found myself at the airport.

"One ticket to Los Angeles, please."

 **Owen's POV**

The night after I found out I was going to become a father, I stayed in an on-call room. I didn't go home, just in case Amelia had needed me and if she wanted to talk to me. The next morning I went in front of her room, but her bed was empty.

"I knew you'd come. I was waiting for you. We discharged her two hours ago." Cristina was sitting in the nurse station near me.

"Damn! Why didn't you call me? I could have taken her home!"

"She asked me not to call you. She seemed pretty sure. Owen, I know that now you want to be with her because you are about to have a child, but you don't have to necessarily. You may also raise the child not being husband and wife. Have you thought about my offer? I miss you...The other night, even if it was a mistake, it was the best thing that has happened to me over the past two years. Don't throw away what's between us."

She brought her hand to my face, gently stroking my cheek. That touch was not right, it was not her. I missed her touch; her hands in my hair while she kissed me, I missed everything about her and no one could replace it, not even Cristina.

"Cristina, I'm sorry, but don't think like you and perhaps I never could do. For me the most beautiful thing of the past two years has been getting to know that woman, and making sure she would become my wife and the mother of my son. The nicest thing is the thought of becoming a father, not that night we shared. I love my wife and I will not be with her only for my son. She was never your replacement, she was the one who made me understand what true love is. Love is not just a passion, it is not just sex... Love is giving up a part of your life to make room for someone else. You were never able to do that."

"I'm doing it now, for you. I'm here for you!"

"But now I am not here for you anymore."

 **Amelia's POV**

"Addie!"

"Amelia?! What are you doing here?"

"Only a small visit for a few days...Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am! But Amelia Shepherd never does anything accidentally. Let me look at you...You look different!"

If she only knew all I had been through in the last three days. I did not feel at all well. I wanted to have a chat with whoever decided to call this morning sickness – it certainly lasted more than just the morning!

"Amelia is there something wrong? You look really pale..."

"I'm ok. I just have to go to the bathroom quickly"

I ran to the nearest bathroom - thankfully I knew where to go. I barely had time to get in the bathroom when I completely emptied my stomach. I wondered why I still continued to eat.

"Amelia? Everything ok?"

"Yeah Addie...Now I've got used to this."

While I flushed my face with cold water I could not look up, yet I could feel her eyes on me inquisitively.

"You're pregnant?"

"Apparently…"

"Oh my God, Amelia! I'm so happy for you!"

She hugged me and for the first time in three days, I felt really happy, even if only for a moment. Her embrace was familiar. It was the embrace of a sister.

"Did you already get an ultrasound?"

"Yes...and it was amazing. It was so small...it's a miracle. Arizona did all the tests and I'm still waiting on some results, but for the moment everything seems normal. You know, at first I was so scared. I wasn't ready to suffer again. I could only think of what could have gone wrong, but now I can be happy, although once again I will have to do everything alone..."

"Alone? Is Owen not happy about this? I thought he wanted children?"

"He does, and he would be beside me…I just don't know if I want him to be"

"Amelia, you just got married, you love each other! Why should you have doubts? Don't do this. You deserve to be completely happy."

"He cheated on me with his ex-wife."

"Cristina? But isn't she in Switzerland?"

"She came back for him!"

"Amelia you two are married - that means something! I cheated on you brother too, you know that. You make mistakes in life, make sure that this one small mistake doesn't ruin your life. I know that you love him, I see it in your eyes..."

"Maybe I'm not ready to forgive him..."

"Until you're ready you will be welcome at my house if you want to stay away from Seattle - you are **always** welcome here."

 **Owen's POV**

I had looked for her everywhere; at home, at Meredith's, around the hospital. I continued to call her, I had left a thousand messages on the answering machine, but no replies. She couldn't leave me...

By now it was night and still there was no trace of her, so I came home because I did not know where to look anymore. I walked into our room, it seemed so empty without her. I was empty without her. Will she ever come back? Then I saw it - a small piece of paper on my pillow.

It was her writing...

 _I cannot see this house how I used to. I need to clear my head. I'm going for a few days with my family. Don't look for me.  
Forever Yours  
Amelia_

How could she think I would let her go without talking? I could not just stand still and watch her leave me. I began to call her again and again…

 **Amelia's POV**

Owen wouldn't stop calling me. My phone wouldn't stop ringing. I didn't want to talk to him, not yet. I still need some time...

"HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

I ran out from Addison's place and saw a woman lying on the ground, clearly pregnant - she was having a seizure. Immediately I moved her to one side and asked the nurse, who had shouted, to call an ambulance. A few minutes later I was at Saint Ambrose and I was waiting for the results of her CT with Addison.

"Look: a very small intracranial hemorrhage..."

"Does she need surgery?"

"No, it should be reabsorbed by itself. She should only be kept under observation for a few days. The baby is fine?"

"I did an ultrasound before. He is ok, the heartbeat was strong."

"Did you find out her name?"

"Yes. Her name is Alyssa."

"Ok... I'm going to talk to her."

I entered the girl's room: it was nice to finally give some good news.

"Hey Alyssa, I'm Dr. Shepherd. We just got the results of your CT. There is a small hemorrhage, but it's nothing to worry about. We'll have to keep you under observation for a few days. Can we call someone for you? It would be better to have someone to keep you company."

"Thank you doctor, but no. I have no one. I'm alone, or rather, it's just me and my boy now."

As she spoke, she gently stroked her big baby bump. I didn't know the story of that girl, but it was like looking into my future. I'm going to be so alone during this pregnancy.  
I didn't want to be alone, I wanted him with me. I had just realized. I couldn't get through this without him massaging my swollen feet, or without him running around the city at night looking strange foods to satisfy my cravings. I could not get through this without him. I left the room and picked up the phone. Now I needed to hear his voice.

"Amelia...But where have you gone?"

"Mer? What are you doing with Owen's phone?"

"Amelia, he was looking for you everywhere, it was raining...He lost control of the car..."

"Oh my God...Please tell me he's okay…? Mer!"

"Amelia..."


	7. Chapter 6

_Dreams are what we hope the most, or they are our worst fears. The only important thing is to realize that they cannot always come true – that they are not reality. Although, sometimes, hope is all we have left._

 **Amelia's POV**

I was back at Grey Sloan, and all I wanted to do was to see him, to hug him, to hear his voice. I felt guilty for what had happened. If I hadn't run away, if I hadn't gone to LA, he wouldn't have got into that car and he wouldn't have gone looking for me.

I ran in the hospital corridors; Mer had only given me the number of a room – 1328. That's it. I arrived in front of it, and looked straight at him through the window. He was even more beautiful than I remembered. I ran in and threw myself onto him, tightening my arms around his neck.

"Hey…"

"Forgive me…forgive me. I'm so sorry."

As soon as my face touched his chest, I began to cry. It just didn't seem real that he was there, awake and alert, with only a broken leg.

"You don't have to apologize to me." He lifted my head to look into my eyes.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too…I missed you."

Our lips finally met after what had seemed an eternity, even though it had only been a few days.

"Ma'am…ma'am."

An unknown voice woke me up.

"Ma'am, we just landed in Seattle."

It was all just a dream, but I was really wishing for it to just be true. I was afraid. Afraid of not being able to feel his hands on my body again, of not having him here during the pregnancy, afraid that our son would have to live without a father. All I wanted was to be able to forget these last 5 days and return back to my husband's arms.

At first, as I ran towards room 1328, I was almost reliving my dream, but then I arrived in front of my room and my heart stopped.

There he was, lying in a hospital bed. He was asleep with a million tubes and wires attached to his body. I just couldn't bear to see him in that condition. Yet another man I loved was dying in front of my eyes, and it was all my fault.

Suddenly my legs were too weak to hold my body. I leaned against the wall and slid down, sitting on the floor and resting my head on my knees. All of this was just too much. Nothing had gone as it should: at this time we should have been together at home, fantasizing about possible names for our baby, and instead…

I felt a hand touch me on the shoulder, and someone sat next to me.

"Amelia…we were waiting for you." It was Maggie.

"How could this happen again? It's all my fault…" I said sobbing.

"Amelia, you need to be strong. Do it for your child. Owen wouldn't want to see you like this…"

"Owen just wanted me to forgive him, wanted us to be a family…I have disappointed him and now…please just tell me this is a bad dream…?"

"I'm so sorry. He has lost a lot of blood, his heart stopped beating for 7 minutes. We don't know if he's going to wake up, and if there will be any deficits if he does…"

"He's got to wake up. I can't do this without him!"

She hugged me.

"Amelia, there's more…"

"What?"

"A few years ago, Owen wrote his will in the case of a coma…"

"I know what he wanted, I'm his wife! He wants us to try everything to make sure that he can see the birth of his son, and that he can raise him."

"Unfortunately he hasn't updated those records lately…"

"Who cares? I'm his wife! I have to make this choice for him!"

"Amelia, I'm sorry, but in those papers he gave his medical power of attorney to Cristina."

"No…you can't be serious…I AM HIS WIFE!"

"I know, and I'm so sorry. But legally you can't make this decision."


	8. Chapter 7

**Cristina's POV**

I could not help but stand still watching the man I love, or rather, look at the man who I used to love. I walked over to him, gently stroked his face and ran a hand through his hair. He was so pale…the person lying in that bed was no longer the man I loved. He didn't even look like him anymore.

They just told me that I had to decide for him. I knew what he wanted. He wouldn't want to live like this, with something that was breathing for him, with someone having to wash him, and without him being conscious. Hopes of him waking without deficits were too low to hope for a miracle, and I wasn't the person who would believe that certain miracles could happen.

I had made my decision: _I had to let him go._

I had to do it in order to free him from the prison that had become of his body. I was sure that the man I once married would have wanted this.

I came out of his room, and saw Amelia on a nearby gurney. She looked destroyed. As soon as she saw me, she got up and came towards me. I continued to walk past her – it was time to tell Bailey my final decision.

"Cristina, stop…what did you decide? I have to know. Cristina…? CRISTINA!"

I wasn't able to talk to her right now, I only had the strength to say it once. I was so used to talking to family members of patients in these types of cases, but he wasn't just a patient.

 **Amelia's POV**

It had now been a week since the accident, and the odds of him waking decreased with every second. I didn't care: I was convinced that my husband would come back to me. To us.

I spent my days in the hospital, beside him. I had just moved away to get another ultrasound done. Arizona was sure that all was well with this pregnancy. I was so happy to be a mother again, and that my baby was healthy, but I wanted to share all of this joy with Owen. His biggest dream was going to come true and he wasn't even here to savour every moment. This was the reason why I spent every second with him: it was the only way I could share this with him, and make sure he was there. I told him everything I was feeling. It was good to talk to him for me, I felt his presence even if he couldn't answer.

After the ultrasound I went back to his room to find Cristina in there. I knew that today was the day she would decide the fate of _my_ husband. At first I tried to resist, screaming like I hadn't ever done before in my life, but it wasn't any good. She had already made the decision that would change my life.

I saw her leave the room and I ran up to meet her. I was completely petrified, the most scared I've ever been, but I wanted to know. She didn't reply, and after insisting, I decided it was better to spend this time with my husband. Every second was crucial.

Every time I entered his room I was trying to be happy, even if I was dying inside every time I looked at him lying on that bed. I sat next to him and, like every day, I began to talk to him. Today I also had great news…

"Hey, hi…I went for an ultrasound today with Arizona. It seems everything is fine."

Uttering those words I felt the tears streaming down my face. I didn't expect to feel so indifferent on this day.

"I would have liked you to have been there with me…I miss you so much. Arizona said that she was able to see if our little miracle is a girl or a boy. I didn't want her to tell me, though. I couldn't know without you there with me. I have heard heartbeats of foetuses many times, but when you know it's your child's heart, it's completely different. I recorded it for you…"

I pressed 'play', and my favorite sound echoed in the room.

"Soon we will have to start thinking about his room: the color of the walls, the cradle to buy, or where to put the changing table…we will have to start thinking about names. Please come back to me…I can't make all of these decisions on my own. Please wake up…"

I began to sob and leant on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, and then I felt it…

It was a feeling I had experienced before, in my previous pregnancy. I knew what it was – it was my baby, **our baby** , which was moving. Instinctively, I took my husband's hand and placed it on my belly. I could imagine the wonderful smile that he would have if he were awake. Finally feeling my baby made it all real. Those small, almost imperceptible movements were a sign that I wasn't just hoping for anything. My family, the family that I was building with Owen, still existed. It wasn't quite destroyed yet.

The door opened and I saw Bailey with Cristina, Mer and Richard. They could never play poker.

"No…no…no…NO! You can't! How could you…? How could you decide to kill my husband? The father of my baby?!"

I was desperate. I couldn't lose him. My baby couldn't lose his father. Instinctively, I got up and stood between them and the bed: I wasn't going to allow it. Richard came over to me and hugged me. I collapsed in his arms, and he had to support me to stop me from falling. I don't know how long I stayed in his arms crying, but in the end I felt I had no more tears to shed, so I turned to the only person who could give me an explanation.

"Why?"

"Amelia…"

"I want to know why."

"Amelia, Owen wouldn't want to live like this…look at him!"

"You don't know what Owen would want, he is my husband!"

"I know. Owen and I know how he thought…"

"No. You know the Owen who was your husband. I know my husband and I know that he would want to fight to wake up…he would have hope! The brain activity is very low, but it's still there…please. Don't kill my husband!"

"Amelia…I'm sure of the choice I have made. I can't watch him in these conditions. He's not the Owen that we loved."

"You're wrong…he's not the Owen that you loved. My husband is still there, in that bed. I can feel his heart beat, and I can touch his warm skin. He's still alive! If you unplug this machine then you will kill him. No matter how conscious he is at the moment…YOU WILL KILL HIM!"

She didn't answer. I couldn't believe this was really going to happen.

Some nurses gave Cristina forms to sign, and then Bailey approached the bed. I began to scream with all my voice, as I tried to free myself from Richard's tight grasp. He held me in his arms as I kicked, and pulled, and punched. Nothing. I could only watch from an angle whilst the love of my life left me.

 **Meredith's POV**

While Bailey began to turn off all the machinery, I couldn't help but think about when I had to make this decision for my husband. In the room the only noises were Amelia's screams. I could understand her…she was losing her husband as I had lost mine. I knew exactly how she was feeling.

I saw Bailey turn off the machine, and unplug the respirator tube that was keeping Owen alive. Now we just had to wait. Slowly, his heartbeat began to dwindle…then it returned to stable. I took the stethoscope and checked for breath sounds – Owen was breathing on his own. Amelia was right, maybe there was hope.

Richard released her and she ran onto the bed, hugging him and crying into his chest.

"Everyone out…"

"Amelia…"

"I said…out! OUT!"

We all slowly left the room.

 **Amelia's POV**

They really pulled the plug on my husband, and he wasn't dead. I had seen a few cases like this before, but never thought it would happen to me.

"Love…now you just have to wake up. I know you're trying to…I know you're struggling. I'm so sorry for not being able to stop them, I promise they will not approach you anymore. It's just the three of us here now."


	9. Chapter 8

**Amelia's POV**

From the day that Owen had begun to breathe on his own, I didn't want anyone near him anymore. I took care of him 24/7. I asked for a bed to sleep next to him considering that, with each passing month, it became increasingly uncomfortable to sleep in the chair as my belly grew more and more. Many had tried sending me home during the first few weeks: they said to go home and relax. That was the phrase I hated the most ' _go home and relax'_ – how was I supposed to relax? My husband was in a coma!

The truth is that I didn't want anyone to touch him after that had almost taken him from me. I did everything for him, and our child. I would wake up every morning, take a quick shower, and start to take care of him: I checked his exams and vital parameters and wrote them all into his folder. After the medical side was taken care of, I would shave him and lather a sponge all over his body to wash him. Every movement I made was slow and gentle, because I was constantly afraid of hurting him, but also because I wanted to cherish these moments forever. I could feel his warm skin against my hands, and I hoped that he felt me there too. That I had come back to him and I was waiting for him.

I missed him.

I missed the feeling of his body embracing mine in the mornings, and his skin pressed against mine as we made love, but I knew that he could come back to me. Sooner or later, he would wake up and we could have the life and family we had been dreaming of. No-one could explain why he hadn't yet woken up,but the fact that he was breathing alone gave me high hopes.

It had been two months since the day I was going to lose him, and every day since I had told him how wonderful our lives were going to be when he woke up, but it broke myheart not being able to go through this pregnancy with him. At nightI took refuge in my dreams, where we would return home after long shifts at the hospital and he would rub my swollen feet, or where I would wake up in the middle of the night craving mango and he would go on the search for an open supermarket to buy me some.

Where he was the one taking care of me, not the other way around.

I knew that he would have given me the moon if he could. Instead, all this had been denied to him – denied to us. The chance of him not waking up just wasn't plausible to me. I couldn't imagine never hearing his voice again...

That day I had an appointment with Arizona – I finally got to see my baby again.

"I wish you could see him, Owen. He's perfect! 10 fingers, and 10 toes...simply amazing."

Like every time I spoke with his dad my little one started kicking and, as always, I took my husband's hand and put it on my stomach. Those movements, that were initially like butterflies in my stomach, had become stronger and stronger.

"He will certainly be a little pest –he never stops moving."

I smiled thinking about my son's little face, and I just couldn't wait to meet him.

 **Arizona's POV**

"Amelia, you have to eat more! How many times do I have to tell you? You've become a skeleton with a baby bump!"

"Is the baby okay?"

"He is fine, but I'm talking about your health!"

Each time it was the same story: I would visit her, she would look at the ultrasound and when I spoke to her she seemed to be there, then she would ask how the baby was and just leave. She wasn't ever herself after that. She seemed like an empty woman. I'm really concerned that she never leaves the hospital.

She rose quickly from the bed to return right back to Owen's side, but as she got up she staggered a bit and leant towards the bed. Need less to say I ran immediately to herside.

"What's wrong? Do you feel okay?"

"It's just a bit of dizziness. It's alright, I just got up a bit too quickly."

"Wait. I'll take your blood pressure...your systolic is 84, Amelia...Lie down. When was the last time you had something to eat?"

"No no no...I can't stay here. I need to get back to Owen." She tried getting up, but I gently pushed her back down on the bed.

"No. You are going to lie down now on the bed, and I'll get you an IV. You can't be walking around in this condition. So...when was the last time you ate?"

"I don't know...maybe yesterday morning? But look, I don't have time for this!"

"Amelia, you can't not eat for two days! We can find the time..."

"Owen needs me..."

"Owen can be left alone for an hour."

"I have to be there when he wakes up! I DON'T HAVE THE TIME!" She jolted up and ran away. I followed her straight into Owen's room.

"Okay...you can stay here, but at least lie down and let me stick an IV in you. Do it for your baby."

"Ok..." She lay down and let me do all the necessary protocol.

"Amelia...if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

She looked at me in silence.

"Callie and I had an accident when she was pregnant with Sofia. She had to have a huge surgery, and our little girl was born that day. She was so small..." My eyes filledwith tears thinking back to that period of my life. "Callie didn't wake up, and I was there, beside her bed, hoping and praying that shewould come back to me. She was my world, and it was all my fault. I asked her to marry me, and I took my eyes off the road for a second. The truck just came out of nowhere...I know how you feel. Helpless. Guilty. You only want to see his eyes open so this nightmare can end."

"I just wish he could see the birth of our baby..." She finally whispered, and then burst into tears. I hugged her, letting her cry on my shoulder for as long as she would need.

"Cry, Amelia. Let it all out. Breathe. Crying is good. You don't always have to be strong, you know."


	10. Chapter 9

_Five months ago_

 **Owen's POV**

Amelia was gone. She had left the hospital and nobody heard anything from her. I couldn't help but be concerned. I had looked everywhere; in the hospital, at Mer's – I had even called her mother, but nothing. Finally, I went to our house. Her drawers were empty, and her suitcase was gone. She was gone. I didn't know whether she would ever return, but I needed her. I had to find her.

I had to find her.

I decided to go to the airport.

Outside it was raining heavily. As I drove, my vision started to blur…I was crying. I was terrified of not being able to be with her, not being able to see our baby being born or even growing up. Suddenly I saw a bright light coming straight towards me, then a roar.

 _Everything went black_

It was as if I had fallen asleep, but I couldn't wake up. What had happened? Why couldn't I move, or speak, or see? I heard only silence around me. After a while I heard an ambulance screaming towards me, getting louder and louder with every second. I felt so weak…right after, I think I passed out.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I began to feel something again. There were noises around me…no, not a noise. A voice. I could detect that voice in the midst of a thousand. It was Amelia's. She was back, and she was with me. I could hear her crying and it broke my heart. I wanted to hold her, to talk to her, to kiss her and let her know I was there with her, but I couldn't. It was as if I was imprisoned inside my own body. Inside me I was screaming my love for her, but no-one could ever hear me.

Days passed, but this situation remained the same. I saw her every day: crying on my chest, caressing me, talking to me. She was speaking about our child and how he was growing up well, and he was healthy. My favorite moment was when she took my hand and rested it on her belly. Feeling my son move made me the happiest man in the world, even though no-one could see it.

 **Amelia's POV**

The day had started like any other. At the moment I was in the ninth month of my pregnancy and the hospital had become my home. I didn't care about sleeping rough, or the horrible hospital food, or even of having an uncomfortable shower – for me, the only important thing was that I was with him.

"Ouch!"

Since a few days previously, my Braxton Hick's had been out in full force. At first I thought it was labour, but Arizona had checked and it wasn't time yet. They had been intensifying since this morning, however. Maybe it was time? I didn't want this moment to arrive. Of course, I was so excited to meet my baby, but I needed Owen to be awake to see the birth of his son. I hadn't had any time to prepare the nursery in our home, or to buy the essentials for a new born – I had been with his father day and night.

"Ouch!"

I began to cry. The pain was getting unbearable.

"Please love…wake up. I can't do this without you! I can't give birth alone again. I need you to be there to make me crush your hand when the contractions come on, and to pass me ice cubes to suck on…OUCH!"

Nothing.

Owen made no movement.

I was so angry at myself. It was all my fault he wasn't able to witness the best moment of his life…

"Arghhhhhh!" God they were getting so strong. "Owen, you have to wake up now. You need to wake up!" I started shaking his body in a desperate attempt to wake him.

 **Arizona's POV**

It had become a habit.

Every morning, after the round of visits, I would bring some food to Owen's room for Amelia to eat. This way I would be sure that she was eating at least once a day. When I finally got to Owen's room that morning, I looked inside and saw Amelia crying. I decided to wait a while before entering, but then I saw her shaking Owen and it broke my heart to see her like that. Suddenly, she grasped hold of her belly and doubled over on herself. She was definitely having a contraction.

"Amelia! Are you having a contraction?"

"Yes, I think so…but it might just be Braxton Hicks. I don't know!" she cried out to me desperately.

"Okay, let's go and check you."

"No! I want to stay here. He has to wake up…I can't give birth without him."

"Amelia, we don't even know if you're going to give birth right now…"

"Please Arizona, just check my cervix here."

"…Okay…but if you are in labour I am taking you to Obstetrics. We need to think about your baby right now."

"All right."

 **Amelia's POV**

Arizona checked my cervix…I was in labour. I was in labour alone, again. Our child would be born in the next 24 hours, without his father there.

I wasn't fully dilated yet, but Arizona insisted I went to Obstetrics to track the labour. I really didn't want leave that room. Though he couldn't talk, Owen was still there, and when I would have to leave that room it all became too apparent that I was actually alone.

"Amelia, we need to go now. Your contractions are getting closer and we have to connect you to the cardiac monitor."

"Okay. Just a moment, please. Can you wait outside?"

"Of course. I'll be right outside."

I just needed time alone with my husband for a while.

"Honey, it's time. Our boy is coming. Next time I see you, you'll be a daddy…I really wanted you to be there with me, but of course life doesn't go as we expect it. I don't know if I can raise this child without you, so please try to wake up…come back to us. We are right here waiting for you. We always will be."

I kissed him gently on the lips before I left his room, Arizona waiting outside for me with a wheelchair.

"Arizona. The chair really isn't necessary, I can walk."

Right on cue, I had another contraction. It really hurt this time…maybe it was better to sit?

"So I've prepared a room. As soon as you arrive I can check you again to see the progress of the labour. I don't think we have spoken about this yet, but do you want an epidural?"

"No…no epidural and no meds."

She stopped wheeling me and stood in front of me to look into my eyes.

"Amelia, why do you want to suffer so much? You know that you have cardiac problems even after your ablation."

"I'm a woman…I can do it. I've done it before and I can do it again."

"Okay…I'm going to page Cristina to check on your heart."

"No. Call Maggie. I know Cristina performed the ablation but I can't have her there at the birth of my son."

"Ok."

Shortly after my waters broke. The pain got more and more intense. After a few hours, I heard voices outside of the door of my room. I knew they were all out there, but the only person I wanted next to me was not.

 **Meredith's POV**

I had just finished a round of visits when I received a call from Arizona – Amelia was in labour. I ran to the Obs floor and found Maggie, Richard and Arizona all in front of her room.

"How is she?" I asked to Arizona.

"It's going to be alright…she doesn't want drugs, so it may take a while."

"I wasn't talking about the labour…"

"How do you think she's doing? She's heartbroken. She was praying Owen would be there even until the last minute."

"I don't blame her." Said Richard.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

I feel guilty. Guilty for her pain. I couldn't stand outside the door just waiting and doing nothing.

"Okay, but try not to make it worse for her."

I entered the room and Amelia was in bed, breathing through each contraction.

"What are you doing here?" She said, wincing at the pain that was beginning to ease off.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. I want to be next to you, Amelia. You need someone with you."

"How can you think that I would want you anywhere near me after what you have done? You was the one who invited Cristina here. You've almost ruined my marriage!"

"I didn't bring her here, that was completely her choice…but look, that's not what matters now. Right now, all that matters is the health of you and your baby."

"…my child doesn't have a father, does that not count?!"

"Sure…but Owen is alive. He will wake up, I'm sure."

I saw her tighten her body for another contraction, so I walked over and put my hand on her.

"My nephew is about to be born…let me be a good aunt." I said. She looked at me and smiled for the first time in a very long time. I didn't actually know if Owen would ever wake up again, but right now that was what Amelia needed to hear.

 **Cristina's POV**

I had visited Owen's room after I learned Amelia was in labour. I had wanted to visit him thousands of times in those past few months, but I didn't dare go near that room whilst Amelia was there, and she was always there. Now felt like the right time to visit, so I sat down in the chair next to him and took his warm hand in mine.

"Owen, I'm so sorry that you can't see your dream come true. You're about to become a father, and she is going to give you everything I couldn't, but you can't be there. I've been checking on her, you know, all these months whilst she's been glued to this chair. She loves you _so much_ , perhaps more than I ever will. In these past few months I've realized that your place is right here, with Amelia and your baby. Not with me."

Just then I felt Owen's hand twitch. I looked up and watched as he finally opened his eyes. He was awake.

 **Owen's POV**

My wife was in labour, and I couldn't be with her. I wanted to wake up. Cristina was right: my place was with Amelia and our baby boy. I had to wake up.

I felt something change…my body felt lighter and lighter, as if the chains holding me back were finally getting released. I was able to move a finger, and then I could open my eyes. My throat and lips were so dry, talking was going to be a challenge.

"I NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!" I heard Cristina screaming.

" _A…Am…Amelia."_

"What are you trying to say? Are you in pain? Can you repeat it?" she said, handing me a glass of water. The moisture made it so much easier to talk.

"Am…elia."

"Amelia. Ok! She can't come now…she's in labour. You're about to become a father, Owen."

I kept repeating her name. All I wanted to do was see her and let her know how hard I fought for her. I had finally won and she needed to know.

"Owen we have to do a full check-up…you have been unconscious for a long time."

But I didn't want to wait any longer. "Please. You have to tell her. She can't be there thinking she is alone…she needs to know I am here!"

"Ok, ok…I'll call her." She said, taking the phone from her pocket.

"Hey Mer, are you with Amelia?"

 **Amelia's POV**

"Amelia, when you feel you have to push, then push. You ready?"

"I…DON'T…WANT…TO! **"** I said, screaming.

"Amelia, you have to! If you don't push you are going to put both yourself and your baby in danger."

"I want Owen! He has to be here…he can't be in a coma when his son is about to be born!"

I was desperate. I was exhausted. I needed him.

I needed him to tell me I could do it.

Just as I was set to give up, Meredith's phone rang.

"Cristina? Hey, what's up? I'm a little bust at the moment…wait…what? Really?! Are you sure?!" She sounded so excited, whilst I was screaming and petrified of raising this boy alone. "Amelia…Amelia, there's someone who wants to talk to you."

I took the phone from Mer and put it to my ear, dreading what Cristina was going to say to me.

"Hello..?"

"…Hi love."

It was him.

It was actually him. It was his voice. Maybe I was dreaming, but even so I burst into tears, even more so than before.

"Owen? Is that really you?"

"Yes sweetie, it's me! I'm so sorry…"

"I'm sorry too…aaaaaaahhhh!"

"Love, listen to me. I know you can do this. You are the strongest person I know."

"I can't…I'm so tired."

"Just a little bit longer and then it will be over and you'll have our baby in your arms, and then you can come back here to me and we can be together forever. I _know_ you can do this."

His voice gave me the strength I needed. I pushed as hard as I could. Once, twice, three times. My energy had plummeted, and I had no more strength left in me, when I finally heard the cry.

"Here we go…here's your little girl!"

Arizona took my little miracle and placed her on my chest. A girl. As surprises had gone recently, this was definitely my favorite. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. On the other side of the phone I could hear Owen sobbing. I couldn't wait to see him, and for him to see our daughter. She was simply perfect.

"Owen, she is so perfect. She has your beautiful hair color."

I was in a state of euphoria. I had never been so happy, I had everything I wanted.

"So…what are you going to call her?" Asked Mer.

"We need to see Owen first."

They took her away to do the check up and clean her.

"Amelia, you really should rest." Said Arizona.

"No, I need to be there for when Owen sees our baby. I can handle it."

I was absolutely exhausted, but I had to hold on just a little longer. The thought of seeing Owen, and being able to embrace him again, made all that fatigue disappear. I sat in a wheelchair and they gave me my baby. Every time I looked at her she got more and more beautiful. On the way to Owen's room, she fell asleep on my chest. I couldn't stop smiling as I stared at her.

We finally got to Owen's room after the longest journey around the hospital, and I saw him straight away. Our eyes met as I got up and sat beside him on the bed. We sealed our reunion with a kiss, and it was so good to kiss him and feel him reciprocate it - for the longest 5 months I had been kissing motionless lips. His eyes fell on our little girl, and they instantly filled with tears. He wasn't yet strong enough to hold her, but I laid her on his chest and she fell blissfully asleep. I had never seen that look of pure love and joy in his eyes before, but I knew I had exactly the same expression on my face.

"Thank you." He whispered in my ear, and kissed me gently on the temple of my head. He couldn't stop staring at our daughter, our eyes not leaving her for even a second.

"So, this little princess needs a name. What are we going to call her?" Owen asked.

"What do you think of Abigail?" I suggested. During the pregnancy, I read dozens of baby name books and the significance of this name struck me. "It means 'Father's joy'…do you like it?"

"Really? Then it's perfect. She and her mother are my joy."

We kissed again, and I never wanted that moment to end.

"Amelia, you gave me all you could give me."


End file.
